10 Signs Of Emotional Abuse In A Relationship
In a world that is filled with misunderstandings and vagueness, things that should and must be noticed can oftentimes go unnoticed. Therefore, it’s always important to wait and look at things from an objective point of view. One of the things that are constantly being mentioned and discussed is emotional abuse. While we do know that emotional abuse is certainly not a good thing, we want to begin by making a distinction as to what emotional abuse really is and isn’t. And then further proceed to the signs that you might be in an emotionally abusive relationship.
Emotional abuse does not occur merely in romantic relationships, it can be existent in friendships, it can come from your parents, and it can even happen in the workplace. As I mentioned, emotional abuse can and has gone unnoticed in a lot of cases, meaning many times the victims didn’t even realize they were experiencing it.
But what exactly is emotional abuse?
As Psychology Today puts it, emotional abuse is an attempt to control, the same way physical abuse is an attempt to control the other person. When it comes to emotional abuse, there is no physical hitting, nor grabbing or pushing. However, the perpetrator of emotional abuse uses and misuses emotion. Most likely, even the perpetrator of emotional abuse does not know that they are being abusive in one way or another, however, their actions may come as a result of insecurity. For example, if a person feels insecure as to whether their partner really loves them, then they will find the need to accuse their partner of cheating, or blame the partner for their unhappiness, or even constantly check their phone or messages. These continuous control, the accusations, and the blame are forms of emotional abuse.
What are the signs of emotional abuse in a relationship?
1. Controlling you
They check up on you constantly and manage what you do and where you go, as research suggests. They monitor your telephone calls, your text messages, and constantly check your phone. They will guilt you into staying put as well as threaten you. Thus, they will make you feel like you’re stuck and have no freedom or power over yourself.
2. Controlling your finances
Another way of controlling you is by controlling your finances and the way you decide to spend your money. You don’t know your own passwords and aren’t allowed to make a purchase without asking for permission from your partner. This will leave you dependent on your partner as well as completely vulnerable.
3. Overly jealous
They become overly jealous when you simply hang out with friends or have conversations with people. They don’t like sharing you with people even if it means simply an ordinary situation. They will threaten you and throw tantrums trying to make sure you don’t repeat the same thing again. You tend to lose contact with friends and even family eventually and the relationship becomes toxic.
4. Lack of empathy and compassion
According to research, a lack of empathy and compassion is another sign of emotional abuse. Your partner tends not to be there for you when you need them most. They will show no qualities of compassion and this way you won’t be able to count on them for anything.
5. Weaken your efforts
They will not take your opinions into consideration. Your opinions and thoughts will not matter to them, and even if you say something in regards to your relationship, they will accuse you of being ‘too sensitive’.
6. Gaslighting
Gaslighting is one of the worst forms of emotional abuse when it comes to manipulating another person into believing something. Gaslighters tend to convince their partners that all the bad things that are happening in the relationship are the victim’s fault. They do so in a way that soon enough the victim will start believing the lies and blame themselves.
7. Intentionally hurt you
According to Live Bold and Bloom, saying things that hurt you or frighten you is a sign of emotional abuse. They know your weakest point or Achilles heel and they still misuse it in attempts to control you and manipulate you.
8. Hold back affection
In case you are having disagreements, they tend to withdraw their affection, act cold, or become irritated. They want you to be submissive and conform to their needs and whatever it is that they want.
9. Blame you
They never accept responsibilities when it comes to issues in your relationship as well as their life. Someone else is always to blame. At some point, you think you might be at fault for their irritation and the relationship problems you are facing.
10. Guilt trip you
The guilt trip is another way of emotional abuse. It means that they use whatever way they find suitable in order to prevent you from leaving them. They make threats to blackmail you, or even claim self-harm or suicide, and might even threaten to hurt the ones you love. It comes to the point where you think you will never find someone like them again or believe that no one will ever care about you more than they do. So you tend to stay with them hoping they will change their ways.
As observed, emotional abuse can come in many different ways and forms. It’s often subtle-looking that it may even go unnoticed. However, it’s important to be careful and read through the signs to make sure you, or any friend of yours, are not in an emotionally abusive relationship. There are also cases, as previously mentioned, that the perpetrator of emotional abuse doesn’t know they are being abusive, so in case you find yourself in any of these signs, it’s time to make a change for the better.
You might also be interested in: Man Who Was Terrifically Abused By His Girlfriend Speaks Out.