Menopause is something that women don’t exactly look forward to. While people may tell you that it’s all natural and part of being a woman, it’s anything but fun and enjoyable. When the time inevitably comes for you to go through the menopause, here are 20 things you can look forward to.
1. You start to cry at daytime TV shows
All of your hormones are making you go insane, meaning that you cry at basically anything.
2. Hair is everywhere
For some ridiculous reason, the menopause always seems to make hair appear in ridiculous places all over your body, because that seems fair.
3. Sleepless Nights
Insomnia that relates to menopause is real and it’s awful. You simply can’t sleep and you’re really hot.
4. You want chocolate
When you get five minutes on your own, you find yourself dreaming about chocolate. All the chocolate. In the world.
5. You start gaining a crap ton of weight
It’s either because you ate all that chocolate you dreamt about, or maybe it’s because your metabolism showed a fatal error and stopped working.
6. Sometimes, you can’t remember your own name
Literally. You forget the most basic of things.
7. And, you get scared that it’s left you for good
Most people are often scared that they might permanently forget stuff.
8. You start breaking out like a teenager
Acne and pimples appear all over your body as if you’re 15 years old again. How nice!
9. You start saying exactly what’s on your mind
Like, seriously, you don’t control what comes out of your mouth. You just let it all exit your brain, and sometimes, that can get you into some trouble.
10. Parts of your body start to swell
You no longer have petite feet, and your ankles will swell as if you were an elephant.
11. Mood swings are everywhere
One minute you’re fine, but the next minute, you could be threatening to kill someone. You can literally go through five emotions in a span of 2 minutes.
12. You get really emotional
You might get someone to give you a hug to comfort you, but they’ll immediately find themselves getting slapped across the face.
13. You struggle to stop saying snide comments
14. You sometimes feel like you’re actually going insane
You’ll forget what happened this morning and you need some chocolate.
15. Hot flashes, hot flashes, hot flashes
16. You’re so hot that you would rather sit in the fridge
17. You sweat more than you thought humanly possible
Like, literally, there’s water dribbling behind you everywhere you go. It’s awful.
18. You still retain water somehow
Even if you sweat like a pig, you still somehow have a water retention problem.
19. Eat, eat and eat some more
You’re always on the lookout for food.
20. You’re always on the war path
No one should stand in your way. If you’re in one of your bad moods, people should just stand back.
Anger is now your middle name, which means that no one should stand in your way ever! When you’re in one of your moods, people better run!